I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
