you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
