i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
