Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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