I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
