I want to make a zoo with you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
