I have demons in me.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
