yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
