Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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