Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
