I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
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the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.