im holly from the hills drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.