Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
