All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
