been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize