Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
