1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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