just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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