I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize