Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
