I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
