I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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