Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
