Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
