If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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