i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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