My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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