I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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