Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
