just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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