Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
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