four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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