She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
