oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
