I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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