dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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