What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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