DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
