worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Your cock deserves a montage
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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