I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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