we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
