you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
