So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
