you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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