If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
