things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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