Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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