Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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