you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
