As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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