Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
