ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
