He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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