Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
