You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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