I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
