He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
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honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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