A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
