I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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