don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
