that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
