also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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