can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
