I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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