Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
