I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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