my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
