At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
