Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
