PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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