apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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