Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
